BREAKING NEWS – Holiday officials have reported that as of Friday, December 12th, there have been several reports of missing elves in the North Pole. Between 2:06-2:07, Mrs. Claus reported sightings of tiny shoes and hats scattered throughout Santa’s workshop, along with a note reading “we want Medicare”.

Though this does not come as a surprise as Donald Trump’s recent “Big Beautiful Bill” has reduced Elf-aid funding by almost 50%. This has created turmoil among the elves as the holiday season has been ramping up.

“I’m f-ing pissed, how the hell am I supposed to afford eggnog?” says one elf interviewed at the recent Toy Workers Union protest. “We’re done with the big red man,” says a T.W.U official at the protest.

Despite these remarks, Santa has not shown signs of increasing labor benefits for elves, but rather he has reduced benefits and entirely cut dental. When asked about his recent action against the elves, Mr. Claus said “The elves aren’t the only ones suffering”.

Eye witnesses report that Mr. Claus has been seen “buying” toys in bulk from local stores. This comes after workshop toy production has reportedly declined by 10%. Many economists have been criticizing Mr. Claus’s actions, stating that the economy “will not exist” if Santa continues purchasing from stores.

In a recent interview with Mr. Claus, he shared his opinions on the T.W.U protests. “These toys aren’t gonna make themselves,” says Mr. Claus when asked about the disappearance of elves.

Workshop officials warn that if the elves do not show up to work, and if toy production does not see a positive shift, Christmas will have to be delayed to the 26th. The Loyalist urges Mr. Claus to end the protests by giving in to the demands of the T.W.U. for the sake of the world, for the sake of the cubs and for the sake of Christmas.