The 2:10 p.m. bell rings, students begin shuffling out of classrooms, but instead of the usual rush to the parking lot, the Dewey gate is met with a wall of the walking dead, consuming any student that gets too close.
When faced with a zombie apocalypse, students encounter an impossible challenge: deciding the best survival strategy. If brain-eating zombies come knocking down doors in Hannon, Loyola students have a limited time to develop a foolproof plan on the spot. This realization has led students to preemptively brainstorm solutions, leaving many wondering if the campus is truly “zombie-proof.”
The unique circumstances of Loyola being a private school with a gated campus affect how students shape their strategies.
Kai Beck ‘27 explained, “The walls around Loyola campus are quite high and have barbed wire, so it’s already a good first wave of defense. Also, Loyola campus is full of a large population of boys; most of them would probably rush towards the swarm, thinking that they’re the main characters in a zombie movie.”
Additionally, an apocalypse could arise in a variety of ways, characterized by zombies with widely differing traits. Slow zombies, as seen in The Walking Dead, allow for survivors to have flexibility in maneuvering around infected zones and typically only pose a threat in hordes. On the other hand, fast zombies are immediate, adrenaline-fueled threats. The best strategies need to be prepared for every scenario. Taking inspiration from 28 Days Later or World War Z, students should attempt to evade conflict and acquire absolute fortification because the infected possess superior speed and strength.
A key part of survival plans includes scoping out the best spot on campus to defend or hide out, depending on one’s strategy. The standards that define a “zombie-proof” building vary among students with different strategies. If students elect a defense-first strategy, the ultimate goal is to never risk contact with zombies and rush to buildings that can be used to blockade hordes.
Beck explained, “Loyola Hall is one of the most zombie-proof buildings on campus. It has only two entrances, a necessary fire exit and lots of windows. Having high-up windows is especially key for getting a better view of the situation. Additionally, the library lecture hall has massive steel doors. Hiding out in there could be necessary when you’re absolutely out-matched.”
Other students make a different case, arguing for an evasive strategy.
Abraham Galarza ‘27 said, “My first strategy would be to escape and get far away from campus. If escaping was not an option, I’d go to Ruppert Hall. Ruppert has two basements and is four stories tall. It has a parking garage that helps mitigate getting swarmed. Ruppert is also one of the only buildings on campus with deadbolts.”
Galarza’s analysis underscores the importance of each building’s structural features. A parking garage allows for a vehicle escape or a secret exit, but may also be an open invitation for the infected.
However, regardless of how good one’s hideout is, fighting solo rarely pans out well. In the midst of fighting the undead, students would instinctively begin grouping up to generate strength in numbers. This has led some students to begin constructing their ideal apocalypse team.
Daniel Lopez ‘29 said, “In an apocalypse, I’d want to be paired up with Coach Woodert. In health class, we often talk about self-defense and his ‘ability to throw desks with a single hand,’ making him a perfect partner if we’re forced on the offensive. He also seems selfless and charismatic and could use his charm to distract the zombies.”
Different teachers bring unique skills based on their educational backgrounds. Instead of focusing on physical strength, many students opt to build their teams from faculty members in the science department.
Tomas Gonzalez ‘26 highlights, “If I were paired up with a chemistry teacher like Dr. Barnese, we could easily defend ourselves against a range of zombie threats with Molotov cocktails and other tools made in his lab.”
